CHAPTER 11, PAGE 30

The Stranger

A very weird thing has happened.

A strange old lady has moved into my house.

I have no idea who she is, where she came from,

or how she got in. I certainly didn't invite her.

All I know is that one day she wasn't there,

and the next day she was. She's very clever.

She manages to keep out of sight for the most part;

but whenever I pass a mirror,

I catch a glimpse of her there;

and when I look into a mirror directly

to check my appearance,

 suddenly she's hogging the whole thing,

completely obliterating my gorgeous face and body.

It's very disconcerting.

I've tried screaming at her to leave

but she just screams back, grimacing horribly.

She's really rather frightening.

If she's going to hang around,

the least she could do is offer to pay rent.

But no! Every once in a while

I do find a couple of dollar bills

on the kitchen counter, or some loose change

on my bureau or on the floor,

but that certainly isn't enough.

In fact, though I don't like to jump to conclusions,

I think she steals money from me

regularly I go to the ATM and withdraw

a hundred dollars, and a few days later, it's gone.

I certainly don't go through it that fast,

so I can only conclude that the old lady pilfers it.

You'd think she's spend some of it on wrinkle cream.

God knows, she needs it. And,

the money isn't the only thing she's taking.

Food seems to disappear at an alarming rate.

Especially the good stuff, ice cream, cookies, candy.

I just can't keep them in the house.

She really has a sweet tooth. She should watch it;

she's really putting on the pounds.

I think she realizes that, and to make herself feel better,

I know she is tampering with my scale

so I'll think that I'm gaining weight, too.

For an old lady, she's really quite childish.

She also gets into my closets when I'm not home

and alters all my clothes. They're getting tighter every day.

Another thing: I wish she'd stop messing with my files

and the papers on my desk. I can't find a thing any more.

This is particularly hard to deal with because

I'm extremely neat and organized;

but she manages to jumble everything up

Furthermore, when I program my VCR to tape

something important, she fiddles with it after

I leave the room so it records the wrong

channel or shuts off completely.

She finds innumerable, imaginative ways to irritate me.

She gets to my newspapers, magazines and mail

before me and blurs all the print;

and she's done something sinister with

the volume controls on my TV, radio, and phone.

Now all I hear are mumbles and whispers.

She's also made my stairs steeper,

my vacuum cleaner heavier, all my knobs and

faucets hard to turn and my bed higher

and a real challenge to climb into and out of.

Furthermore, she gets to my groceries as soon

as I shelve them and applies super glue to the tops

of every jar and bottle so they're just about impossible

to open. Is this any way to repay my hospitality?

I don't even get any respite at night.

More than once her snoring has awakened me.

I don't know why she can't do something about that.

It's very unattractive. As if all this isn't bad enough,

she is no longer confining her malevolence to the house.

She's now found a way to sneak into my car with me

and follow me wherever I go.

I see her reflection in store windows as I pass,

and she's taken all the fun out of clothes shopping

because her penchant for monopolizing mirrors

has extended to dressing rooms.

When I try something on, she dons an identical outfit,

which looks ridiculous on her and then stands

directly in front of me so I can't see how great

 it looks on me I thought she couldn't get any meaner

than that, but yesterday she proved me wrong.

She had the nerve to come with me when

I went to have some passport pictures taken,

and she actually stepped in front of the camera

just as the shutter clicked. Disaster!

I have never seen such a terrible picture.

 How can I go abroad now? No customs official is ever

 going to believe that old crone scowling from

my passport is me. She's walking on very thin ice.

If she keeps this up, I swear, I'll put her in a home.

On second thought, I shouldn't be too hasty.

First, I think I'll check with the IRS

and see if I can claim her as a dependent.

Author Unknown

Good Morning !

I don’t know if any of you have this stranger in your house, but I sure do. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve looked in the mirror and have seen her staring back at me.  :>)

To bring this month of THANKSGIVING to an end, I’ll just conclude by saying that I do thank God everyday for the many blessings that He sends my way. I’m grateful all the people, places and things in my life and can say truthfully that I really don’t have a thing in the world to complain about. There might be a few things that I don’t care for or don’t want, but there are no complaints only praises of thanksgiving.

Tomorrow we start a new chapter in my book and I’m so looking forward to turning each page. A new month, more blessings, more reasons to say ‘Thank you’ Lord !

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives

Author Unknown

May your day be blessed with a few SMILES and lots of SUNSHINE to warm your heart !

MA

 

 

 

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